I was speaking last week at Christ for the Nations about Embrace Grace. I spoke about how brave girls are that choose life and how we should love without limits and build support systems to help young women that might be scared with an unplanned pregnancy. After I shared my heart for an hour, several students came up to me afterwards to share their heart and stories. One was hanging towards the back and when the group cleared he made his way towards me. He started to share about his sister having an unplanned pregnancy 3 years ago but before he could continue he would need to stop before his emotions got the best of him. He was choked up and had a hard time confessing what was on his heart.
He admitted that when his sister had announced her pregnancy to their family, they really treated her bad. They talked down to her and were so disappointed in her actions. She eventually couldn’t take it anymore and ran away and had (in his words) “the cutest little girl in the whole world.” With tears in his eyes he talked about his regrets in the way he handled it all and wished that he could go back and change things. He is married now and him and his wife have tried to reach out to her and invite her over for dinner but it has yet to happen.
I hear stories like this sometimes. I am so proud of this guy for even sharing his heart and regret with me. You could tell that he loves his sister so much and wants to make things right again. He asked if I had any suggestions on what might could help with the pursuit to put his family back together again.
Last week I went to a banquet of one of my favorite local non-profits called Mercy House
. They provide housing for young women that have unplanned pregnancies but have nowhere to live. They had such AMAZING video testimonials that really captured the heart behind their home providing stability and a family environment that these young moms want and need so badly. The house-dad said something that I LOVED. He said that almost all the girls that come to live there have built up walls around their hearts from years of hurt and pain. They may seem cold and guarded at first. It’s always a process for the walls to come down. He said some walls come crashing down in a day … and others it’s a much slower process of the wall breaking apart brick by brick. But the key for the wall coming down whether slow or fast is CONSISTENT, UNCONDITIONAL, NEVER-ENDING LOVE. No matter if they fight it and don’t reciprocate it, no matter if they respond with anger or if you don’t even think it’s sinking in … just never stop loving people. The walls have nowhere to go but DOWN.
So for the guy wanting to win his sisters heart back and for anyone else out there that may have hurt someone in your past or even just someone that wants to invest time in helping someone break down their walls … just keep loving them. Never stop. Speak life over them. Never turn your backs on them. Even when they push you away, be waiting when they come back. Be a soft place to land when they fall.
Love never fails.
Written by Amy Ford