Heart of a Teen Dad

So many emotions screamed inside me.  I was only 17 years old and she was 16.  I had just been told by my girlfriend that we should be expecting a baby in 9 months.  I could only think to myself that my life is over… no more freedom, no more fun adventures, no more future that I had planned.  It is time to grow up, time to take responsibility for our actions.  I kept thinking about how young I was though.  I had so much more life to live.  So many unaccomplished goals that seemed so distant now!  Am I alone? Will anyone still accept me?  Unfortunately, I knew I was alone.  I had no one to turn to when I needed someone the most.  Not my parents, not my brother, or my girlfriend’s parents that I usually went to for advice in the past.  I just knew they would be pretty angry with me to say the least.  I needed someone, something to rescue me.

Emotions continued to flow through me as I spiraled into a severe depression, as well as sky high levels of stress shredding my heart into pieces.  I still had an important step I needed to take: telling my parents of my new “adventurous experience.”  Maybe one I shouldn’t have been experiencing yet.  How am I going to approach telling them that my life had just taken a dramatic twist? This seemed like hell from every point of view.  My worst fear came true as I confronted them with the news.  They blew everything out of proportion, basically threatening me that I would be living on the streets if I don’t put my unborn child down.  I resisted and made my words heard. This child is my responsibility and I will protect and shield my baby to the best I know how.

I soon realized that my friends were no longer my friends.  Many days were spent sitting alone on my bed, crying until I had no more tears.  I was lost, confused, and heartbroken.  Someone help me!  Please God help me!  That’s all I had strength to say.  God help me.  I guess this is how my life will be from now on … alone in the midst of my own mind.

It’s hard to imagine what my life would be like in the future.  I always tried to figure it out but it was hard to grasp reality and how everything was changing so quickly.  I had so many decisions that needed to be made, but not even a listening ear to comfort me.  I was lost. No one person was pointing me in any kind of correct direction. I felt like I had no other choice but to take control of my own life the only way I knew how.  I couldn’t handle all the stress and I began doing things that I shouldn’t.  I experimented heavily with illegal substances.  My life was spiraling into hell faster than I knew what was coming.  My actions only led me to feel even more alone and more depressed. I felt like I had lost all control.  I just kept thinking in the back of my mind,  “Is this the way I should be living my life right now?  Is this the answer?” I still wasn’t happy and felt unfulfilled.

It only took a little bit of searching to discover that God had always been there for me, even when I turned my back to Him.  God surely sent me through this bumpy, crazy but irresistible ride called life.  Our baby will be here in a few months and it is time to shape up and start being the man I should have been all along.  We found out that Jordyn and I are having a baby girl, so it is time to start taking care of both of my girls.

God is Good, God is Love, God is Truth. 

Written by Josh Malkosky

21 thoughts on “Heart of a Teen Dad

  1. Beautiful!! it is amazing to hear words from a daddys point of view! He is so courageous to put his words out there!! 🙂

  2. Wait- that’s all we get??? I wasnt done reading!!! Surely that wasn’t all of your story??!!! Either way, Josh, you’re such a huge inspiration. I know a lot of the EG “baby daddy’s” (as I HATE to refer them to) have either not been there from the beginning or run away when it has gotten hard. But, YOU, are different!!! Thank you for staying by my sweet friend, Jordyn, through all of this. Y’all are so young, yet show SO much maturity by the decisions y’all have made. I know they’ve been hard (oh heck, who am I kidding I DON’T KNOW that they’ve been hard, I can only assume) but you has stuck by God and gotten the wisdom of the people you trust in your life. I can only hope to find a man one day who sticks by my side and loves me the way that you love Jordyn!

  3. Josh…this is the most manly piece of writing and courage I have ever read. How many young men run from both responsibility and strong emotions, and lose their true self and connection to God, in your circumstances. You have embraced both your own true heart and your responsibility. You cannot lose if you hang onto those things, for there you will always find God and find Him strong on your behalf. This article should make headlines. Real men still do walk among us. I’m proud of you Josh. Proud of your choices and proud of your courage in sharing so openly .
    Bob Hamp

    • Thank you so much! I know God will use us for many great purposes. I hope this blog and my future ones will make headlines…wouldn’t that be cool! I’m blessed to be able to share my story and to help those that need some truthful words from someone that has been through the same situation.

  4. I’m with Danielle…I want more!! Josh, you are an incredible man of God. I am so proud of you for stepping up and stepping out to make a difference in this world even if you may not be aware of how big your impact is and is sure to be in the future. I agree with everything that Bob Hamp said. Your open heart to what God has for you and how much He loves you has made you stand out among so many boys that would have run away. You are a man with great courage and a sweet heart.

    • You will get more, my story is neverending!! As hard as the past has been, it will only make me stronger. Thank you for your sweet words!

  5. Josh, I know I never actually met you, but my sophomore year did Jordyn talk a little bit about you. I have to say I was a little upset that I never did, but I don’t think Jordyn could have picked a better MAN to be with. I commend you for your commitment, taking responsibility for your actions, and most importantly staying true to the GOD that stayed true to you. You and Jordyn are two of the most remarkable people I have ever known and I thank God for both of you. Good luck with whatever God places next in your lives and know that I will ALWAYS be prayin for you.

  6. Josh, I have never met you, but I think it is truly amazing how you stepped up. Most guys at your age would have just walk away…even older guys…as in my case. We were 25 years old, not teenagers, and he still abandoned us. But, to see that you put your life on the back-burner for not just your daughter, but for Jordyn, too, and put their well-being about yours and against all odds. Truly an amazing story. God bless you and Jordyn and that precious baby girl!

    • I’m sorry that he left you both. Guys that abandon their family are sorry examples of a man, let alone a father. Stay strong and raise your hands to God and let Him be your Father. He’s all we need in the first place, right? 🙂 My stories will hopefully give insight to young fathers with their unexpected pregnancy to step up and do what’s right, even when everything seems so scary and sudden.

      • I hope that it does. I honestly think that some guys don’t actually notice they are not the only ones that feel scared and out of control when their girlfriend gets pregnant…we feel the same way. Hopefully, instead of running, they will just start communicating because I think that would make a world of difference.

  7. Josh, you and Jordyn are so brave and I am so proud of both of you! You guys have decided to take responsibility and not run away, the first great, world changing decision. Second, you both have decided to trust that the God will complete His perfect plan for both of your lives! You are setting an example that will change the world, you both will have a huge impact on this generation and many more to come! I pray that you would know God is proud of you! He is so very pleased with you. Not because you made a good decision, but because you came to Him! He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will turn all of our poor decisions to good, if we will come to Him and let Him. You are both such a beautiful example of His grace! Continue to share and trust Him. Thank you!!!

  8. Josh… what a bold and courageous thing you have done… both being willing to let your story be heard. AND… more importantly, turning back to the Lord and being the man God has called you to be. You have such a beautiful testimony! I can’t wait to hear more from you!!!

  9. Josh, I want you to know how amazing and strong you are. For yourself and for Jordyn. I am so proud of you and as I read this story I just couldn’t help but think that your thoughts were so precious and pure, you wanted to take care of YOUR girls. Well, you absolutely did. It takes a MAN to do what’s best even when it’s hard and you have stood behind Jordyn and that shows what a priceless and precious person you are! Abby is lucky to have you as her birth-daddy and Jordyn is lucky to have you as well! This is the start of an amazing support for not only young girls who are considering adoption but YOUNG MEN as well. You are opening up a new forum for teen-dads to also be recognized because a lot of times their opinions and feelings have been left out. I am so so proud of you and Jordyn and I know God has his hand on you. That sweet baby girl is so lucky that God chose you two to be her birth parents. I can’t wait to see what God has in store, you two are destined for great things! xo

  10. I admire you & your girl, Jordyn. Yall are such an inspiration to me & yall’s story is quite a testimony. Keep pressin on towards God & he will ALWAYS draw closer to you.

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