It was my senior year in high school and had never had a serious relationship or even lost my virginity. Just boys who wanted to hook up and at points I was even called a prude because I wouldn’t even kiss them. I’ve never been a skinny or petite girl so I was always self-conscious of myself, especially in high school.
One of my girlfriends introduced me to the man of my dreams, or I thought he was. I fell “in lust” with him and eventually lost my virginity to him. Blinded by what I thought was love I ignored all the bad stuff people told me and within 5 months I had graduated and moved out of my house to be with him. My parents HATED him with a passion. He had a bad background but I’m a very trusting person and believe anyone can change. We lived together for about a month when he suddenly became controlling. He was always wondering where I was and tried using things against and constantly threatening me.
The day I tried to walk out he knew and had grabbed my purse, stole my keys, grabbed a knife and threatened his own life. Long story short I hauled it out of there the first chance I got leaving almost everything behind. I was so scared I moved all the way to Midland, Texas to get away from him.
For the next few weeks my family and I got threats and he tried to get me to come back but I just couldn’t do it. After that relationship I didn’t ever want to love or let someone in my heart again. After settling into Midland a few months, a friend asked if I wanted to move to Florida with him while he went to school. Since I was an 18 year old without a care in the world, I said yes. My dad hung up me when I called and told him my plan but he eventually let me. Florida was paradise! We lived 2 minutes from the beach. I got settled in with a great job. Things were starting to go really well. I started meeting people and going out. The only negative to living in a tourist town was that going out drinking was the only thing to do.
One night I went out with a group of people and we ended up going down a long dirt road which led to a swamp. I had finally found part of Texas. A whole bunch of crazy country folk drinking beer, telling jokes, blaring music all around a fire. I had been drinking already by this point and just started talking to everyone being loud and crazy. I was having a blast. A guy pulls up and I saw Texas license plates and it was love at first sight. We kissed, we danced and we stayed up till the sun rose. I had eventually convinced my friends to let this guy I just met drive me home even though they were not 100% ok with it. We started dating and but 4 months into our relationship, I found out he was still having a relationship with his ex-girlfriend. So I went out with my friends had some drinks and eventually called her up to talk. I confronted him about it but somehow he suckered me back in.
A few weeks later I started realizing I hadn’t started my cycle yet and I thought it was just stress but days went by and still nothing. My friend Patrice drug me out of work for my lunch break and took me to Walmart to get a test. I think she freaked out more than I did when I saw the word “pregnant” big as day. My heart dropped but in a way I was happy.
On our way home that day I told the news to Peter. He was excited at first but then started second guessing how we were going to do it so I eventually moved back home to be with my family for help. Two weeks after getting home I started spotting. I freaked out and went to the emergency room. They had confirmed I was having a miscarriage. The pain was unbearable and I felt like I was going to die. It was the worst feeling ever but I eventually felt better about everything. I went back to Florida and for several months we would get back together and then break up. I constantly caught him cheating. I even got pregnant again and miscarried AGAIN.
On my 21st birthday, was my last night with Peter. It was like a final goodbye night. We knew we weren’t going to work out and I was about to move back home again. After settling in at home, once again I had that sinking feeling I was late. I was horrified and scared to tell anyone. I finally told my friend Jasmine and we took a test and once again it was positive. How was I supposed to tell my family AGAIN that I’m pregnant? I told my sister and eventually broke down to my dad. He was extremely disappointed. I was too. I waited and waited expecting the worse but nothing happened. I was actually going to have a baby. I finally got the courage to call Peter up and tell him that he was going to be a dad. He said all the right things like he was going to be there for me in Texas, or move me back to Florida … then just switched gears and decided it wasn’t his baby. He was so back and forth.
Months went by and I started gaining weight and reality stated sinking in. What was I going to do? I was living at home hardly making any money and I was going to bring a baby into this world … I got a text one day from a friend telling me I should check out this class she had heard about for single and pregnant women called Embrace Grace. I almost didn’t go. I thank God everyday that I chose to go that night. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. The girls were so sweet and the leaders, Salina and Amy were amazing. I had something to look forward to every week and get my mind off my worries.
A few weeks later I had Amy come with me to my appointment to find out what I was going to have and I for sure knew it was going to be a boy. To my surprise the doctor announced, “It’s a girl!” I was shocked but so happy. As we were leaving Amy said what about the name Chloe? Well it stuck and I now have a beautiful 2 year old and her name is Chloe.
Classes continued and then it was time for the shower. I was thinking it would be small and I would be needing to do a lot of shopping still but to my surprise, we were overwhelmed with SO many gifts. This event was truly a blessing. I needed almost nothing when I left. I broke down in tears thinking about the selfless acts of the people who participated in the shower and the amazing leaders. I honestly don’t know where I would be without knowing about Embrace Grace. It’s absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened to me (besides my girls). I love each and every one of you, even the new girls I don’t know. I’m happy how things turned out even if it wasn’t perfect or how I planned I have God’s greatest blessings and they are my children!
Written by Chrissy Davis