Don’t Give Up

babyandmomLife wasn’t always so easy for me.

My mom was always missing. My father beat me when he wasn’t in jail or at a drug house. I knew I had a sister out there somewhere but had no idea where. It was me trying to make it in this big world and I felt totally alone. Most of the time it was my grandmamma or aunts that would take care of me when my father wasn’t around. I would try my hardest and had periods where I would be doing good in school, playing softball and getting good grades but that all came crashing down once my dad would come back.

After 14 years he decided he wanted to be “a dad.” So I moved in with my dad, changed schools and was about to be starting a whole new life. It wasn’t that bad the first year but my dad slowly started going back to his old habits. I was to the point in my life where I thought if my own father didn’t care, then why should I?

When I was a freshman in high school, I started getting into fights, smoking weed and drinking. Dad would punish me but that never seemed to stop me. Me and my father would fight every day more and more so much that I decided to not go home. I just ran away because I was so over it all.

After a few months of not living at home, I found out I was pregnant with a baby boy. Just when I started accepting this unplanned pregnancy as something I could do and had felt like everything was going to work out after all, I found out I had miscarried and lost the baby.

I was devastated. It was the hardest thing I had ever been through. Me and my boyfriend grieved the loss of our baby that we had never met. Going through something so hard, we grew closer and closer together. We had been through so much and we were in love. We decided that even though we both were so young and I was still a teenager, we wanted to make our relationship right and get married! It was the best day of my life! We decided to make a commitment for the rest of our lives together and I was so excited! So many dreams and hopes for our future!

Shortly after we got married, I was working hard but I noticed I was having less and less energy. I realized I was a little late so I took a test and sure enough, 2 lines pop up! I’m pregnant!

My husband and I had so many emotions. Having lost one not too long before and the pain of that event was still fresh in our hearts, but there was also this expectancy and hope – a new life. I prayed for my baby and had many dreams for this child I was carrying. I wanted to change the traditions and patterns that I went through in my family and create brand new ones that are full of love. I never want him to ever question how much he is loved. I will always put my family first because I know how it feels to not be.

Life is all about changing. It’s so easy for us to fall back into the patterns and routines that we know by the way we were raised … but we have choices. Sometimes the choices are hard and if I ever make the wrong choice, I just learn from my mistakes and move on without making that mistake again. I want to be a constant, steadfast love in my families’ lives.

I have been through a lot in my life but I am stronger because of it. My goal is to just be the best mother and wife that I could ever possibly be to my family.

My baby boy arrived last April, healthy and beautiful. I fell even more in love when I laid eyes on him! He means everything to me and he is what keeps me inspired to go after my dreams!

God continues to work miracles in my life. I even was blessed this past Thanksgiving because I finally got to meet my long lost baby sister! We are working on a relationship with each other and I’m so thankful I have her in my life now!

I know I am not the only one who has a story like this. It’s just proof that God can turn any situation into something good – if we just seek Him in the process. Don’t ever give up!

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. {2 Timothy 4:7ESV}

Written by Khelsea Ramirez

3 thoughts on “Don’t Give Up

  1. Thank you for sharing your story! You are very brave and you have so much hope and faith and that’s what I love so much about you! You never give up, you always see the good in others, you forgive over and over, and so much more! Love you and am proud of you!

    • Thank you so much Jen and thank Amy! I love it! I just feel like my story can help other have hope and fiath that good does come even after all you have had is bad! I love you’ll very much and I am so thankful I have you’ll!!

  2. Wonderful encouragement to keep fighting and rebuilding in the dailiness of changing our family inheritances that have been broken instead of whole. Thank you for sharing so humbly and joyfully, Khelsea!

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