I am 21, and now a single mommy with a 3 month old son. The daddy and I are no longer together, which is a good thing; he was not the one. If it wasn’t for my son I would probably still be going back and forth with him. God used my baby to shine light upon that situation for me. I suddenly became interested in my future more than my present, because my future was now going to greatly affect some one else’s.
I knew that I wanted to demonstrate healthy relationships for my child, and ours was simply not a good example of that. Being a new mom has suddenly changed my heart towards a lot of other things such as, the company I keep, watching disturbing TV shows, listening to crude music, to even reading posts on Facebook that are just filthy; all the things I thought made my parents so lame a year ago. Of course all of these changes didn’t just magically happen to me over night.
Right now I’m in the season of wondering when I am going to get my old body back. I feel like I’ve heard a million times “It took 9 months for you to get this way, give yourself 9 months to get back.” I think the same about the changes in my life; God transformed my heart completely as much as he did my body. As I decided I couldn’t stand shrimp any more, I also decided I couldn’t stand rap or MTV; and as I fell in love with chocolate, I fell in love with reading my Bible.
While I was pregnant I had a baby who was going to grow inside of me whether I put any effort into it or not, but I had to first make the decision I was going to have my baby. I feel God also gave me the choice of if I was going to start walking toward Him or away from Him, and He did most of the work on my heart while I was pregnant. But we all know how unfulfilling a one sided relationship can be, and at some point if you want things to continue you have to put in some effort too. So as much as I wish my body is just going to magically go back to normal just as it seemed to magically get so huge… I know I am ultimately going to have to get on the treadmill and put down the cookies! I think of my relationship with God the same way, if I don’t put away all the distractions in my life and find time to be quiet with Him every day the relationship will never grow, because let’s face it one sided relationships are hardly relationships at all. So as I brew a new cup of coffee each morning I also brew my faith so that it is always fresh and replenished.
God never promises to remove the mountains in your path but He does promise to climb them with you. So when I worry what is going to happen when I go to custody court, or what kind of influence baby daddy will be on my son, to how I am going to get all the cleaning and laundry done, how I am going to make money, or pass my classes, how am I going to find time to work out or do ANYTHING fun, or if I will ever find the right guy for me; I hush my mind, open my Bible and re-read the sweet sweet promises from my Father, then I get in the passenger seat and let Him take control of my life.
He promises rest for the weary and strength for the weak. He promises to fight for you and to protect you. He promises he has a plan for your future. I still mess up, say and do things I shouldn’t but that’s okay, because it is okay to be where you’re at, but it is not okay to stay there. I’m working on my fitness for ALL of me this year: physical, spiritual and emotional.
Written by Amber Shelton, Embrace Grace Alumni