I think one of the number one prayer requests and concerns for young, single mommas is dating/boyfriend problems. A lot of times he cheated, or maybe he was talking to another girl on the side, or maybe was caught in a lie. The reasons are endless but I see the broken hearts after and it’s so sad. It’s so hard to put your trust in a guy and then everything come crashing down around you, especially when you parent together or you are carrying his child.
You can’t control what he does or doesn’t do. All you can do is ask God to show you if He is someone that you are supposed to keep working it out with, or if you should let him go in your heart. Keeping a close relationship with God is the best way to keep your focus off of all the drama and more on what His plans for your life is.
I just wanted to share some practical points on rating your date. I know all of these are simple and for some of you, a given. But I’m finding more and more, these simple points get overlooked. Maybe you have a fear of being alone so you settle. God has chosen a special someone just for YOU. He is preparing him right now and working on the perfect moment to unite your lives together.
While you can’t always know for sure if a guy you are thinking about dating is right for you immediately, you CAN always weed out guys that are definitely NOT the ones for you. Obviously with every new potential relationship, go to God and ask Him if you should say yes to a date. To add to that, here are some basic questions you might ask yourself before diving into a relationship with someone new …
#1 Does he have a relationship with God? Does he spend time with Him and have a desire to know more about God? Did he pick you because Christ lives in you? The relationship will not go far happily, if you are unequally yoked.
#2 Does he respect his parents? Does he speak with kindness to his mother and father, whether he agrees or not? Does he honor them? How he treats his parents is a reflection of his character and how he might treat you in the future.
#3 Does he have a job? If not, is he actively pursuing a job and willing to settle for a job that is less than he was wanting, just to provide and pay his bills? If it’s not important for him to have a job now, it might not be important to him when you are married and have kids also.
#4 Do his words have value and is he trustworthy? Have you found that when he says something, he always follows through and does what he says? Is it important to him to keep his word? Trust is crucial for a healthy relationship.
#5 Is he humble? Does he apologize when he has a regret or if he hurts you or does his pride win when you have a disagreement? Does he have a servant’s heart? Being in a relationship with someone that can never say he is sorry, is so hard to stay happy. Sure guys are not perfect, but he should be willing to apologize when needed.
#6 Does he care about you and your feelings? Does he want to know more about you and your life? Does he treat you with kindness and in a loving way? When you get married someday, your husband will be your best friend. You want a guy that feels like a good friend too.
#7 Does he respect your rules and boundaries you have placed about purity? Does he crack jokes about your body in a disrespectful way? Does he crack jokes about other girls bodies in a disrespectful way? You are a priceless and beautiful treasure and if he doesn’t respect you and your sexual boundaries, then he can’t respect you as a person either. ** Major disclaimer: ladies if you set sexual boundaries (which you should), you canNOT be wearing skimpy clothes with your boobs hanging out or your booty on display for the world to see – that is not fair. Help him help you by dressing modestly (and still totally cute). You are a gift to be unwrapped on your wedding night – no sneak peeks before – your wedding night sex will be crazy awesome. If he loves you like he should, he will respect your request (and will thank you later 😉
Really, all of these could be deal-breakers for dating. They are important. You can’t just say, oh this guy I like has 4 out of 7 so he’s doing good … yeah he really needs all 7 of these.
I’ll post next week on what a great guy might be looking for in a woman … 😀
I know there are more to add to this list that I have forgotten. Do you have any tips to add to the list? Do you have any good or bad stories to go with any of these tips? Leave a comment and let us know!
Written by Amy Ford