I am far from the perfect parent. Being a single mom for three and a half years…I have some stories. Many I’m not proud of. But there are some very key aspects that I’ve brought into my parenting that I pray will benefit my daughter, Raelee, and let her see God and experience Him in positive ways. I want to share with you what happened last Thursday night. One of my not-so-proud of myself parenting moments.
Raelee and I were both sick. The next morning at the doctor we found out she had that rotavirus vomiting diarrhea virus and I had flu. So that night before, I put Raelee to bed and I was getting ready for bed…we both felt like crud. At about midnight I was overcome with a sneezing fit and I assumed it had woken Raelee up because I heard her crying on the monitor and went running to her room to find her covered in vomit.
This is when the night began.
It only got worse from there. I calmed her down and got the clothes off of her and put her in a bath since it was literally everywhere (head to toe coverage). Then I stripped her bed and looked at the nasty area of vomit in the rug by her bed…and I cried. I felt awful and didn’t feel like handling this. But I’m a single mom. I had to. So I went and finished her bath and got her redressed and began scraping the vomit off the sheets (sorry so graphic). I put them in the wash and went back to my bedroom to check on Raelee who I expected to find fast asleep in my bed. Instead I walked in just in time to see her vomit all over my bed. Then I really lost it. I began weeping and I went through the process again. I kept her in the bathroom on the tile as I cried and cleaned and cared for my sickness as well and this time I had to shower off too. Finally I got fresh sheets on my bed, my sheets in the washer once hers were in the dryer and once I got us both redressed, guess what? It happened AGAIN. Thankfully we were in the hall on the hard woods. Easier clean up there…but it got on our fresh clothes and the rug. And that’s when I bawled again and hit my knees and yelled out the one phrase I despise most, “I CAN’T!” I was feeling broken, so sick…so SO tired and I genuinely thought in that moment that I couldn’t. Had I forgotten that I don’t allow my child to say “I can’t?”
*I’ll pause here* I’m kind of a strict mom…In a loving way. Anytime Raelee says, “But I can’t” I say, “Yes you can, Raelee baby! We don’t say Can’t! You CAN through God who strengthens you!” And then sometimes I even have her repeat me, “I can do all things through God who strengthens me!” (Sometimes with the disclaimer of “if its Gods will” for things like flying and such) –But me in this moment…I was not thinking in that mind set for myself.
Raelee went on to vomit 8 times throughout that night and the diarrhea started at about 3am with the vomiting still going. By 5am we had gone through every set of sheets and pajamas in the house, I had done 5 loads of laundry, 2 baths for raelee, a shower for me, cleaned the whole house, and gotten no sleep. It occurred to me two hours later when Raelee was still joyful and being super sweet, that the way I parent Raelee is SO IMPORTANT. The values I instill into her now have a huge effect on how she handles life. It also occurred to me I should probably start living my life by these values as well…being a role model is important too. Ouch.
Romans 8:18-21 says “because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.”
In my three short years of parenting I’ve learned a lot. Being a single mom can make any small challenge seem like the biggest mountain ever but thankfully I’m the bride of Christ! So I’m not truly alone in this. Life can get hectic and crazy and scary but what my daughter sees me value in day to day life matters.
Our kids will value what we value. It’s so important that we value hope!
And where is your hope? Who do you put your trust and faith and hope in? Man? I pray not. There’s a saying that says don’t put your hope in man because once he is gone your hope will be also.
If you put your faith and hope and trust in The Lord He will NEVER leave you and NEVER forsake you. That’s a promise. Easy choice.
I am a conformed worrier. God delivered me of worrying and “what-ifing” a while back and I am so grateful! Living life questioning everyone and everything and stressing over the worst possible scenarios that would probably never happen is a life without hope- and raising children in that stressful environment would effect them negatively.
I will take this one step further and assure you that if we as parents live with hope, our children will also live with hope! If we walk with the hope if The Lord our children will too..they might stray from it for a time…but they will come home in the end.
1 Thessalonians 5:8 says, “But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.”
Hope is an anchor for our children’s souls!
Hebrews 6:19 says, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,”
It’s important as a parent to channel your child’s conduct in a way of wisdom from The Lord. Seek holy spirits guidance daily! If you feel lost go to your quiet place and pray..He will guide you! Also, surround yourself with Godly women, Mommas like you! Meet with a spiritual mentor! You are never alone in this!
Psalm 39:7 “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.”
Written by Whitney Wells