When There is No Peace

peaceon waterCan you remember a big decision where you knew the answer in the pit of your stomach but you were distracted and decided against that Peace of your conviction? This was the position I found myself in a little over four years ago with the birth of our son, Haynes.

Haynes is our third child and the first two were born by induction. My first son was overdue by almost two weeks so they induced. Our daughter came nine years later and I had issues with extreme swelling so they were concerned about preeclampsia and induced labor eight days early. Both babies were very healthy and it was the most familiar way to have babies to me (induce, epidural, healthy baby).

As I went to my 38 week appointment for Haynes, I asked about inducing. I didn’t have any medical reason besides stating I didn’t want to have too big of a baby. The doctor was very nonchalant about arranging me a time but as it got closer to the scheduled due date, I didn’t have Peace. On top of that, my husband, Scott, didn’t have Peace and we each were wrestling with what to do. Holy Spirit was talking, but we weren’t hearing. We went forward as planned.

The delivery went well except that when Haynes was born, he had this white stuff all over him. He was plenty big so I didn’t think anything of it initially.  They wanted to call the “special” nurse up to look at him just to make sure. Someone mentioned the due date being off and the nurse noticed that his breathing wasn’t right.

Indicators and diagnosis started off slow so we weren’t initially concerned but before too long, we found out his lungs were developmentally equivalent to 36-37 weeks gestation. They went from giving him oxygen to intubating him before eventually putting Haynes on a ventilator. He was so big he fought the ventilator so instead of a sedation drip they changed it to give him a paralytic to paralyze him so his body could rest. Because of that we weren’t able to touch him and things were steadily getting worse.

Within 72 hours, a doctor told us that our baby boy was “as sick as he can possibly get.” He was within hours of possibly being flown to another hospital for blood transfusions as well as heart and lung bypass surgery. My husband and I went down to our son and stood in the authority we had as his parents under the Blood of Jesus and commanded those things to work the way that God created them to. We prayed until we had Peace.  Then we waited.

At this point in our lives, we were in solid relationship with Jesus. I would listen to Christian music day and night to keep my thoughts focused on our Dad in Heaven and his goodness and mercy.  I would really find Comfort in one particular song, “While I’m Waiting,” by John Waller.  My declaration in agreement with the lyrics was, “I will serve you while I’m waiting and I will worship while I’m waiting.”

Those lyrics led us to another big decision. We had a choice to make; were we going to continue to serve and worship our God even if the outcome was not what we wanted? Scott and I intentionally came to a decision and declared that no matter what, we would serve our God and give Him praise.

Soon, everything changed and he rapidly started getting better. We were praying that by Sunday, one week from his birth and on Mother’s Day, I would be able to hold my son again. My Mother’s Day came a day early that year and I was able to hold him Saturday!

We had faced a big decision and let our own flesh and soul get in the way of what our spirit was hearing, in unity, from the Holy Spirit. Those insecurities, disobedience, doubt or whatever it was resulted in a life-threatening crisis. In the middle of that crisis, the same decision that faces each of us every day remained. The question we have before us is always “what are you going to do with God, no matter the circumstances?”

Jesus is in the redemption business and He redeemed our decision to induce labor despite the warnings. He redeemed that decision by affording us another decision. Through His redemption, there was Life, and Life in abundance!

“For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” {Psalms 100:5}

Here are some things we now consider not just about pregnancy but for any decision:

  1. If you don’t have Peace, don’t do it.
  2. It’s ok to change your mind if that’s where Peace leads.
  3. If there isn’t unity with your spouse, wait.  
  4. Be on guard against pride or control playing a part in decision making.
  5. Pray and ask God for clarification, search the scriptures for confirmation.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” {John 14:27}

Written by Julie Prickett

5 thoughts on “When There is No Peace

  1. Julie,
    I love that you were able to have your mother’s day heart desire of holding your son in your arms!! Thank you so much for sharing your story and so thankful God touched Haynes! You are so precious and I love your heart!!

  2. Pingback: Haynes’ Birth Story | Extravagent Love

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