Did You Hear Who Got Pregnant?

pregnantsonoIt was only a few weeks after I had given birth to my precious daughter when I was sitting in class and my friend leaned over and whispered to me, “Hey, Raquel, did you hear who got pregnant?”

I froze.

My heart sank.

I stared blankly at his eyes.

Did he know who he was talking to? Did he already forget that just weeks ago, I was that girl – I was that pregnant girl too?

He must have not realized because he continued to tell me who had just gotten pregnant.

As I listened to him go on, those words kept echoing in my head.

“Did you hear who got pregnant?”

“Did you hear who got pregnant?”

It made me shudder.

It made my heart break.

Those very words almost drove me to get an abortion.  People don’t realize the pain those words bring.

Did he not realize that those words are not kind words, they are not compassionate, they are not loving?

In fact, they are the exact opposite.

They are words of gossip, judgment, and death. 

Those words…”Did you hear who got pregnant?” are reserved for those women who weren’t supposed to be pregnant.  For the unplanned, the young, the unwed.  For everyone else they say “Guess who’s having a baby?!”  And it’s exciting; it’s joyful; and it’s not gossip…people don’t say it in a whisper.

As those words kept echoing..Did you hear who got pregnant?

I remembered everything.

The fear

The shame

The embarrassment

I remember being so afraid of all the people that were going to gossip about me being pregnant and thinking it was going to be worse than getting an abortion.  And I believed that.  I believed that because those words are cruel.  They are not meant to bring life, forgiveness, and healing.  They are meant to tear down.  And I almost gave in to the fear of those words.

Luckily, I didn’t give in….but those words still hurt.

I wonder just how many people said those words…… about me.

How many people gossiped about me the past nine months when I was pregnant?

As I stared at my friend after he told me all the details of who got pregnant, I simply looked at him and said, “How great that she chose life…I know it was a hard decision.”

And then his eyes got big and he remembered who he was talking to.  Yes…I was that girl too buddy.

I hope I made him think.

I hope I make you think.

Because what if…..

What if instead of “Did you hear who got pregnant?” we said, “Did you hear who chose life?” 

It would be a whole different kind of conversation.  A conversation about life.

Just changing a few words  turned gossip and judgment into something life giving and life affirming….and into words of love.

What a small difference a few words can make.

But it’s all the difference in the world….

And it could be all the difference in a life.

Written by Raquel Kato

6 thoughts on “Did You Hear Who Got Pregnant?

  1. Thanks for the reminder, sweet momma, to sow words of kindness that we ourselves will certainly need some day if not right now. This is the most loving rebuke I’ver ever read. I hope you are reminded in at least a dozen ways today, of His joy and presence with you. Thanks again!

  2. Pingback: Friday Quick Takes | Story of a Rose

  3. DEAR RAQUEL,

    MAY I USE WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN READ IN A VIDEO OR PRINTED IN A HANDOUT FOR A CLASS ON “HOW TO HELP SOMEONE IN A CRISIS PREGNANCY? We have a a couple of women who were pregnant in high school who said yes to being in the video to talk about what helps and what hurts. If you are interested in participating in the video, I would love to talk about that.
    Kathy
    kwb7377@aol.com

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