I just want to start off by saying that the devil is real, God is real, and the devil’s whole purpose is to kill, steal and destroy. God just wants all of his children to be underneath his wings for protection from the devil. I guess I was too stubborn to take the time to keep my relationship with God stable and healthy, thinking my way was better. I guess I just felt like I couldn’t please God, Micah, and Cody all at the same time so I gave up … when I know all God really wants of me is my heart.
Micah is my newborn son and Cody is my baby daddy/boyfriend. I love my son with all my heart but after he was born, I felt myself drifting from God and leaning more towards Cody and started making bad choices … I tried weed for the first time while Micah’s grandparents were keeping him while also being high on triple-c’s for 3 days before.
On Saturday, April 28 my whole world came crashing down. Cody and I planned to get so high our relationship issues and finance issues would go away from our minds. So we took Micah to a friend’s house while we smoked weed downstairs in the garage, then we went to Cody’s car and smoked more. At that point I just became careless with myself I was so high, I had never felt like that in my life. I didn’t know who I was anymore. In that short moment of time, I had completely lost who I was and what my whole purpose was for living. One little decision that felt innocent, became a moment that ultimately changed my life forever.
When it was time to go, we got Micah and headed to the car. I was so weak and high I almost thought twice about strapping my son in his carseat. But something kept telling me to and my arms forced me to. The first 2 minutes of the drive I was adjusting Micah’s straps because they were loose. I had finally finished adjusting Micah’s straps when Cody glanced back at me to say something then he felt the car drifting to the left lane. He noticed what was happening and turned his wheel quickly to the right which caused him to drive off the road. There were no street lights on that road and all I heard was “BRIANNA NOOOOOO!!! ” I looked up and all I could see was grass and could see we were about to drive into a light pole. My first instinct was to cover the baby. MICAH!! MY BABY MICAH! I turned automatically to him and held him as tight as I could and Cody turned the wheel to the left fast trying to avoid a head on collision wth the light pole and the car. We spun in a circle and I ended up behind Micah’s carseat still holding him.
I pulled Micah out then almost immediately, my whole world became black. I saw darkness and my body began dissolving into the darkness. I could feel Micah was falling out of my arms and I couldn’t keep hold onto him. I just knew Cody had to be dead. My first thought was, “Am I on my way to heaven or hell?” then I thought, “If I survive this crash and my baby boy doesn’t, there is no way I can go on.” I finally came to and the car completely stopped. I was looking around trying to comprehend what had just happened. Micah was still in my arms … the car was smoking … my baby start crying. My baby was crying! He was alive I was so happy to hear that sound! I was feeling all over his body and face making sure hey was absolutely ok. I was screaming, “MY BABY MY BABY BOY! MICAH, MICAH BABY PLEASE STAY AWAKE! YOU CANT GO TO SLEEP BABY! Mommy’s here. I’m right here! Everything’s gonna be ok! We’re ok!” Cody was alive too! We were ok!
At this time Cody was in shock. He asked if we were ok and if Micah was ok and I reassured him we were. Cody jumped out the car, came over to our side and I gave Micah to him. We were in such shock I couldn’t stop crying. Cody kept asking if this really just happened. My son was trying to sleep I wouldn’t let him sleep. Cody was telling me Micah’s ok and he was trying to calm me down, but I was not ok.
My life forever changed that day. God‘s angels are what protected my family and I from dying that night because the whole front of the car was ripped into shreds yet we all stayed survived. Micah didn’t have a scratch on his body. Only Cody and I suffered from bruises and scars but my heart bruised the most.
God gave us a complete wake up call. He must still have plans for us and He gave us another chance. He opened our eyes to the choices we were making that were leading us to be killed, stolen from and destroyed. Because of our choices, we experienced pain, hurt, guilt, and shame but God promises to turn ALL things for good for those that love Him. I know how much I actually need Him. I know that God gave me a beautiful gift of a son and I need to do my part in protecting him. He gave me and Cody another chance to live for Him. I can’t thank God enough for waking us up and keeping us alive during and after our horrific experience of a near death car crash.
If I can help one person by writing out my heart, please, please don’t take God for granted. Please, please don’t under estimate the devil and his powers because one wrong decision could turn fatal. We’re just blessed we lived to have a testimony. My whole right side is bruised and swollen, Cody’s chest has multiple scars, all the windows of the car were busted yet my son had no sign of a mark on his body. My 7 week old baby boy survived a car accident because of God. I cant thank God enough for allowing us to keep our son because the decisions that we had made, we really don’t deserve to.
Seek God with your whole heart. I’m a living testimony for God’s grace and I’m never turning back to my old ways. God has huge plans for your life, don’t throw your destiny away. Lean on God instead of drugs, men and anything else. He is the only one that truly fills all those hurt places in your heart with peace and love and satisfies your soul.
I’m thankful for second chances.
Written by Victoria Brianne Dawson