I posted thank you’s not too long ago from the shower and a few weeks ago, Mercy sent me her thank you with the subject line of, “Is it too late to send this?” She had typed it up on her phone because she doesn’t have a computer and it was all attachments of a ‘note app’ in a hand font. With each thought my heart melted a little. God’s grace is big. His love is big. So thankful that He brings these young momma’s to our doorstep and grateful He loves me so much that I can share it to others along with all of the EG leaders and women that adopted baby Ember.
Here is Mercy’s thank-you … I think God wanted it to post on a day of it’s own.
Throughout Embrace Grace I struggled to accept my pregnancy. This will be my 4th child. I was overcome with shame, fear and anxiety. I was ashamed to even SAY the WORDS that I was expecting my 4th child. I’m just still in my twenties!
My mom passed away suddenly a few days after I found out I was pregnant. One memory I will carry with me of her is the day she told me how she didn’t understand how at 17 years old, I could be such an amazing mother. She truly admired that. She seemed to have lacked that “motherly instinct” but saw it in me.
Struggling with grief, depression, anger and the pregnancy, I considered abortion and adoption. My mind couldn’t get a grasp on life. I felt I couldn’t be pregnant right now. I just lost my mom. My first sonogram I kept saying, “I don’t want to see ‘it.'”
As time went on and I was attending Embrace Grace, I slowly began to realize this little heartbeat, this tiny BABY growing everyday, was truly God’s gift to me. The baby girl in my tummy is my life saver. I wanted to do so many stupid things when my mom died. My mind was very fragile. The devil was constantly creeping his way in anyway he could. What stopped me from acting on these whispers from the enemy was my baby girl, Ember Rose. I know now, had I acted on them, I would have lost my 3 beautiful kids, my baby and myself. Embrace Grace helped me through the roughest time in my life. Accepting the loss of a life while gaining a new one at the same time was challenging. I’m very thankful for the leaders who helped me find acceptance. More and more I let go the shame, anxiety and all the emotions, I stopped trying to hide my baby bump, and I no longer felt the embarrassment.
Embrace Grace can do so much more to a girls life than just helping the mommies and babies and promoting life. The curriculum goes much further than that. There’s healing, encouragement, spiritual guidance, and so much more. It doesn’t only help with the unplanned pregnancy, it can change EVERYTHING in a girl’s life.
April 12th was my semester’s baby shower. It was astonishing! For me not having family and friends to celebrate with me, it meant a lot to have that celebration. Even though the ladies that donated were complete strangers to me, I felt like I had known them for years. My baby girl received so many needed things that night. It really was breathtaking to see the love, support and presence of God in that room … with people all there to celebrate life. The life group that adopted my baby Ember Rose for the baby shower is still in contact with me. I keep them updated on the pregnancy and send pictures of sonograms. To you ladies, thank you all for the gifts. I honestly couldn’t thank you all enough. The purple shades of color all around the room reminded me of my mom. I absolutely loved that it was her favorite color.
Over the semester, God kept telling me to fight for my faith and not to give up and that sunshine was coming. I didn’t understand what that last part meant until that night. You know the song, You are my sunshine? I received a burp cloth that night and it had 3 crosses on it colors of gray, YELLOW, white and black. Each cross had it’s own pattern but the smallest one stood out the most. A month prior to the baby shower, I made a pair of baby shoes with the exact same fabric used on the smallest cross. How neat is that? I just looked at it and smiled. God says there’s your sunshine. The gifts and blessings for keeping me and loving this baby He had given me for fighting through the gray skies continue to seek the light. God’s light, His sunshine of Grace, peace, hope and love. No matter how dark the skies get, or how the clouds block out the sunshine, he’s still there unconditionally loving you.
My favorite part of it all was finding the difference between believing in God, and actually have a relationship with Him.
I want to thank everyone who had a part in the shower to make it all possible. Life is hard right now as a mom of 3 and I’m sure it’s going to get rough once Ember arrives but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I want to thank the Embrace Grace leaders for helping me through it all, for being a part of this journey, for all your hard work, time, dedication, love, support and generosity. We love you all!
Big Hearts and Love. Embrace Grace is my favorite and Jesus is my most favorite.