A few days ago Amy told me that if I ever felt like writing a blog post for Embrace Grace to send her something. My initial response is that writing is not my gifting, but I would think about it, I regretted that almost immediately! After sending that response God started to show me the areas in my life that I choose to believe that I am not good enough, and 90% of the time it has to do with my parenting and my calling.
To give you a brief history about me; I have sole custody of my 2 daughters part by choice, and part by circumstance. My girls have never met their fathers, and unless there is divine intervention they never will. This has been a very difficult thing for me to walk through because society says that there NEEDS to be a mother and a father for a family to be a “family.” The lie that says there needs to be two parents really feeds the “I’m not good enough” part of me. It has allowed me to make excuses for my lack of parenting and over indulgence; it has told me that I need to find ways to make up for the fact that my children don’t have an earthly father, it creates doubt and it provides my children a way to manipulate.
Nowhere in the bible does it say that a family is whole when there are two parents. It actually says “I am the father to the fatherless.” (Ps 68:5) If God truly believed that I was not good enough to raise his daughters and future leaders, He would not have blessed me with them. If God truly believe that I would not be able to sow into HIS princesses, He would have given the task to someone else. I have to escape the mentality that I am not good enough to do the things He has called me to do, and start embracing the fact that He IS going to cover the areas that I come up short.
So as I sit in my house with my babies asleep in the living room for our weekly “slumber party,” the laundry piled high, dishes in the sink, and a to-do list a mile long, I have peace. I don’t have to do it all right now, I don’t have to be 110% all the time, and I definitely don’t have to sacrifice these precious moments with my children, all I have to do is my best. And in the moments that my best consists of ignoring the to-do’s to play board games, riding bikes, spending the day at Six Flags, or simply just sitting and watching television, God is going to take care of everything else.
Written by Autumn Mills