More Than Enough

momdaughterEvery night before bed I pray over my daughter. I pray that she will have dreams filled with butterflies and princesses, that tomorrow will be a great day, that she will learn a lot at school and have a positive attitude – basically, I pray about so many things that often Emerson says “Amen” and passes out before I’ve even finished. But the most meaningful thing I pray over her every night is that she will never forget her value, her worth. That when people say mean things about her, or she messes up and feels ashamed, that she will not listen to the voices accusing or demeaning her, but that instead she will turn to God and listen to what He says. That she is enough. Kind enough, smart enough, funny enough, pretty enough.

Last night as I got to this part of our prayer, I had a major revelation: I want my daughter to always look to God and what He says to determine her value and self-worth, but do I actually do that? I want her to know how loved she is and that her sins have been forgiven and wiped clean, but in truth, I sometimes have a hard time remembering that myself.

I did something that I’m not very proud of recently, and immediately afterward I felt sick to my stomach. Gross, nasty, ashamed, embarrassed. What I did was wrong; it was a backslide, but how I dealt with it was also wrong. Quite simply, I let the enemy invade my body and have free control of my mind and my thoughts. I was unintentionally reverting back to my past impression of God – another lie from the enemy –  that would punish me for my sin. A God who would be so dissapointed in me that I was afraid to even talk to Him because I didn’t feel worthy enough.

I have made many mistakes in my life. Some of the biggest “mistakes” I thought I had made turned out to be the best things to ever happen to me. Now, this mistake was not the best thing to ever happen to me, but it sure did open my eyes to a way of thinking about myself and about My God that I needed to nip in the bud.

God LOVES me. I mean He really, really LOVES me. And nothing that I do will make Him love me less. That mistake I made, that backslide, none of that changes His perception of me.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.”  {Romans 8:38-39}

That’s how much God loves me. So much that absolutely nothing can separate me from that love.

If I sit here wallowing in my mistakes and self-loathing, I can’t see what God is trying to open my eyes to through that mistake. And you know what? What I pray for every night for my daughter to never forget is the very same thing that God wants ME to never forget. My worth. How valuable I am. Making a mistake or a slide backwards does not change those things. Messing up doesn’t change my destiny, and it doesn’t change how God views me, either. So I am no longer allowing that mistake, or any mistake, to change how I view myself. I am no longer going to let something I’ve done scare me away from God. And I am declaring right now that the enemy has no place here. He has no place in my house, no place in my life, no place in my daughter’s life, and he sure as heck has no business running my thoughts.

I will turn to God, and I will believe what He tells me.  Because when I ask God how he He sees me, He will always say that I am enough. Kind enough, smart enough, funny enough, pretty enough. In fact, He says that I am more than enough.

Written by Hillary Dobson, Embrace Love alumni and single momma

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