Who Am I?

girlllooking upOver the course of a week I repeatedly heard a song from the 70’s quite “accidentally.” I had a lot of errands to do that week and so I was in a car frequently.  Different cars. Each time I either scanned stations or simply and randomly pushed set station buttons. On about the third time this song was playing, the Lord told me to stop and really listen to the words. Yes, God really can use anything to convey His heart to me! As I intently listened, I realized the brokenness of the world and of God’s heart for us. These are the lyrics to the song:

“THE LOGICAL SONG” – By Supertramp

Songwriters: RICHARD DAVIES, ROGER HODGSON

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical

And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily, joyfully, playfully, watching me

But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible, logical, responsible, practical

And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable, clinical, intellectual, cynical

There are times when all the world’s asleep

The questions run too deep for such a simple man

Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned

I know it sounds absurd but please tell me who I am

I said now, watch what you say, now we’re calling you a radical, a liberal, fanatical, criminal

Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel you’re acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable

But at night, when all the world’s asleep

The questions run so deep for such a simple man

Won’t you please (Won’t you tell me), (You can tell me what) please tell me what we’ve learned (Can you hear me?)

I know it sounds absurd, (Won’t you help me) please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am

But I’m thinking so logical

Did you call, one two three four

It’s getting unbelievable

WOW! Even to read the words is astounding! What a cry out! I believe this is the cry of our world today. And my cry before I met Jesus.

On Tuesday, April 6, 1982, I was asking this same question. I had just been out on a date with a nice guy. (Boy was that different!) And for whatever reason, I had chosen not to drink, or get drunk, that night. (Another different action on my part!) My date dropped me off at my local hangout, a bar that I worked at. I walked into the bar and all my “Peeps” were there. They had not chosen to stay sober that night. I, probably for the first time, got a glimpse of what I looked like and how I acted on any other given night. All the while pretending to be “happy.” They were also mad at me for not being drunk like them. IT WAS SCARY!! I turned and walked outside. I sat on the curb in utter confusion and loneliness. Then it came, as clear as day, “Kathy, walk away or you will die.” If truth be told, I was dead already. I walked over the payphone close by and called my brother. “Bob,” I said, “Please come get me!” His first question to me was if I was drunk or sober. I had alienated my family, given up custody of my daughter, and pretty much “got lost.” My brother did come get me! Years later he told me he was going to either way.

That night while laying on my aunt and uncles couch, I said a simple plea, “God, if you exist, please help me, give me a reason to live, give me a reason to walk out of the life I was living, give me strength to quit the self-destructive path I was on.” It was probably the most honest I had been with anyone, including myself in years.

What does this have to do with the song you may ask? Well, it is truly “The Kingdom Parable”. (See http://gatewaypeople.com/ministries/freedom-kairos/media1) In this parable a baby is lost by an acrobat family, then found by a farmer family. All his life he is taught to be a farmer, but inside he knows he is different. There is something “bigger” in him. That is the truth for all of us!

When we are conceived, we are innocent, we are an open clean slate, even though we have the sin nature in us, and we still are pure. THEN, as soon as we are born, even though it may be into difficult home life, we still have an inert nature to seek joy and happiness, innocence. BUT THEN, the training starts. Compromise is instilled, and we find ourselves asking, “Who Am I?” This unfortunately happens in Christian homes and dysfunctional homes. Some churches/religions have just as many “rules” to follow to mold us into what they think is “wholesome, acceptable, logical, responsible, practical and dependable.” If these standards are not met we are then called radical, liberal, fanatical and so on. We hit the bottom; UNBELIEVABLE. All of life becomes unbelievable, even our loving Savior.

Since that day in 1982 I have been learning “Who we are”! It truly is amazing!!! The answer is………

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he[b] predestined us for adoption to sonship[c] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding,  he[d] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,  to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. {Ephesians 1:3-10}

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. {Ephesians 5:1}

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. {John 15:15}

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. {1 Peter 2:9}

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. {1 Timothy 1:15}

And our teaching……….

You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ {John 3:7}

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” {John 13:34}

But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name. {John 20:31}

THAT IS IT!!! I am the Lord’s beloved! I am His heir. I am pure (which happens to be the meaning of my name!) I am His friend. I am royalty.  How did I get to be all these things? I believe Him, His Word, and the Holy Spirit. His teachings. All the while loving others and realizing that they are His beloved too!

AND SO ARE YOU!!

 Written by Kathy Easley, leader of Embrace Mercy

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