Hard Talk

ImageThere are many times in our lives that we must have tough conversations with other people.  Sometimes having these uncomfortable awkward conversations with the people we love the most, can be the most chilling!  What I mean is, we try our best to avoid these conversations because we cringe at the thought of exposing truth that may hurt others.

In college I wandered away from the Lord.  I was trying to please my flesh, my girlfriend and what culture said I should be doing.  I was living it up!  My dad had put me in a sweet apartment near college, paid all my bills with the exception of spending money (for that I had to have a part time job), and paid for my books and tuition.  I really enjoyed the college life.  My girlfriend and I had been together for 6 years and loved each other very much.  We found out one day she was pregnant.  Amy had all of the symptoms and so we decided to buy a pregnancy test from the grocery store.  We came back to the apartment and it tested positive.  All of a sudden our world, my world, came crashing down around me.  All that I had was over. My dad was going to cut me off.  I would be homeless.  I wasn’t ready.  What in the world was I going to do?  I knew it was wrong. I really did. I told Amy there was a pill that she could take that would make it all go away.  That I would take care of the expenses but that she needed to do this, otherwise…my life was ruined.  On a Saturday morning I took Amy and my money to a facility that performed this procedure, handed them my money, and let them lead Amy back to a room to take care of our situation.  I sat and waited in the waiting room for what seemed like eternity and then she came out and said “we are still pregnant.” (You can discover the rest of the story in Amy’s book.)  What happened next was a whirlwind of emotions, tears, and all kinds of drama.  I was not being a man.  I was being a scared little boy who needed a kick in the ass!  She gave me the kick in the ass I needed.  She came to me one day and said, “Ryan…I love you.  I want to tell you something.  I am going to have this baby with or without you.  Ryan….trust me….someday…you will thank me.”

We got married and had our baby boy and named him Jess.  My dad did not cut me off. He helped me finish college and was very supportive.  I believed a lie and almost lost my beloved treasure – my son, my Jess.  Countless times throughout Jess’s life I have whispered “thank you” into Amy’s ear.

Amy had to have an uncomfortable conversation with me.  She had to abandon her love for me and do what was right – what was just – with or without me.  Thank God she did!  This leads me to what I wrote this about.  With Amy’s recent book release, A Bump In Life – True Stories of Hope and Courage During an Unplanned Pregnancy and her television appearances speaking about the book, I knew we were going to have to speak with our son Jess about our story.  I didn’t want him finding out by reading his mother’s book.  I also didn’t want him hearing about it on television.  We scheduled a visit with Jess without our other 3 children.  Amy, Jess and I went out to eat and we told him what I told you above.  For us…it was a tough conversation.  Thoughts like, “would he think we didn’t want him?” would enter my mind.  I also kept thinking I hope this doesn’t hurt his feelings.  I just wanted him to hear it from his mother and I before he heard it from someone else.  I wanted him to know we were wrong for going to the abortion clinic…that God saved his life and that he was a miracle!  Telling him this was the right thing to do.

After telling him our story and how close he came to not being here…he didn’t have much to say.  He said he knew we had gotten pregnant out of wed lock since he was in 6th grade.  I asked him how he knew this and he said, “I did the math dad…”  I laughed and still wonder why he never brought it up but I guess that would be awkward for him to bring up to us.  He didn’t have many questions and we had hyped ourselves up thinking he would.  He was a typical, quiet 14 year old young man.  Not much to say.  We explained to him that his story has inspired hundreds of people!  He is a miracle!  He said…”cool”.  Okay so I’m sure he really did think it was cool.  He was there, with us, eating cheesecake.  That IS pretty cool!

Let’s not fear uncomfortable conversations anymore.  Let’s be bold!  Let’s also be careful and sensitive to others feelings, but let’s not let the lies of the enemy keep us from doing what is right!  What is just!  Let’s STAND FIRM TODAY!  PS…Amy…THANK YOU!

– Written by Ryan Ford

3 thoughts on “Hard Talk

  1. I absolutely loved this! It would be so amazing if the fathers of EG babies could share there side even if its not the biological father.

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