“I have become very jaded towards love,” she texted me a few months ago. “Every time I see people holding hands, kissing, wedding pictures, I get mad (jealous) is more like it.”

My friend was frustrated with searching for the man she would marry, even after being receptive to dating men she would normally discredit upon first glance, with the hope that maybe this time he’ll be “the one.” Her optimism and desire to find the husband for her and daddy for her sweet baby is not uncommon. There’s a chance as you’re reading this you’re thinking, she is in good company! Girls start dreaming of the man they’ll marry when they’re itty bitty little things. I remember pondering the idea of marrying my “boyfriend” in Kindergarten! I was only five! It should come as no surprise for a single mom to want someone to love her, her child(ren), and have a companion to do life with. I have been there, to the point where I was so despondent at the idea of finding a good guy that I made a vow to myself I would never get married and have any more children, ever. Now, if you’ve read any of my past posts, you know God had other plans for me, much like He has for my frustrated friend, and you, too.

My friend proceeded to text me that she had tried to tell God, after being let down by her lack of finding “the one” yet, she didn’t want a man ever — she just wanted it to be her and her daughter forever. He surprised her when He responded, “No. You will have a husband, but if you keep trying to find him on your own I’m going to make you wait longer, so stop looking. I have him for you, just trust Me!” She thought I would get a kick out of her debate with God, because she knew of my similar discussion with Him in the past — and the exceedingly satisfactory results of doing things His way and not my own.

There’s a cute song by Carrie Underwood called, “More Boys I Meet” in which she sings about her lack of luck finding love. She’s given a wide variety of guys a chance to wine, dine, and love her, but each date ends in disappointment.

Cheap date, bad taste, another night gone to waste

Talking about nothing in so many words

It’s not like I’m not trying, ’cause I’ll give anyone a shot once

Cage fights, PlayStation, X-Games, Raider Nation

Oversize pants with an ego to match

It’s not like I’m not trying, ’cause I’ll give anyone a shot once

And, I, I close my eyes and I kiss that frog

Each time finding the more boys I meet the more I love my dog

Does this sound familiar to you? Maybe it’s hitting a little too close to home as you think of your current boyfriend, who claims to love you, but spends far more time playing video games than talking to you. Maybe you just keep jumping from dating site to dating site, or accepting date after date, giving “anyone a shot once,” because you are certain if you just keep searching, trying, seeking, surely you will find the man of your dreams. But the bitter taste of frog is leaving you less than in love and more than jaded.

God gave me a word for my sweet, frustrated friend on that day, about searching for your future husband yourself versus seeking God, falling in love with Jesus, and trusting that He will create the perfect encounter for you to meet the greatest heart throb of your life. And He has prompted me to share it with you now.

If you were to custom create a puzzle, completely from scratch: choose the board, the picture, the glue, and decide where each curve and corner should go, designing every piece, scoring it and cutting each one apart — it would be easy for you to put it back together, because you designed it and created it. You know every unique detail about this puzzle you’ve created.

Well, just like that, God designed you and your life from scratch, so uniquely, not like anyone else. He knows every curve of your body, every thought in your mind, every move you make, every friendship that belongs or doesn’t, and the same with men belonging in your life. He can put the pieces together for your life perfectly and beautifully, with testimony material perfection, but you or anyone else could not get all to fit quite as perfectly when trying to put your own puzzle (life) together. Because it is not your design and you do not have the master plan or nearly enough know how.

If you were doing a puzzle with a friend and they had a hold of the piece you had been searching for to put into place, you wouldn’t be able find it because they hadn’t given it over to you. In the same way, if you are trying to find your man and searching, hunting, and holding on to that area of your life to control in your own timing, God doesn’t have the freedom and control over taking that piece and knowing instantly who/where/when he belongs in the life He created for you.

Also, if you tried to take two pieces, meant to eventually fit together, but forced them together while the edges were still rough, unfinished, and the glue had yet to dry, it would create a mess. They wouldn’t fit as they were supposed to if the designer had been given a chance to perfect each one in his relationship with them individually. The person trying to piece them together might even decide they didn’t belong together because of their dysfunction when attached. Even though their creator meant for them to fit together, they were both blind to the fact that if He had gotten to perfect them while separated, they would have meshed together so beautifully, creating a breathtaking, inseparable bond.

When we don’t abandon control of all the pieces, hoarding thinking the designer might fail us or won’t come through, or when we force them together before they’ve been completed and readied individually, we may be the very reason our dream and desire for something is not happening the way we have longed for. But when we abandon every area, every single piece, to the One who created the whole design in the fist place, knowing us better than anyone (even our own parents), He loves our faith and selfless abandon for His plan, trusting Him enough with every area of our life, especially the ones we deem most important (relationships, marriage, finances, etc.) He longs to give you that man you long for. He desires to prepare both of your lives to be so ready for the other, because once that happens, and the two of you unite, you are a more powerful, mightier force against the enemy. You have a testimony more worth sharing with each passing year to will reach so many hearts of others needing the same hope and understanding of the complete abandon you (both) discovered throughout all you walked through apart and together.

If you wake up every day, knowing you feel needy, wanting that man — the man for you, just tell God your need for love and companionship each morning. He already knows. He is waiting for you to abandon control of it and trust Him with it, every morning as your eyes open or your feet hit the floor.

God I need to feel loved so badly. I need to know that I am loved, desired, and not alone today.

He will meet you right there. He will show up with love throughout your day, to show you that He is at work in your life, He loves you, and He’s preparing the man for you. Just bask in His love a little longer while He completes each of you individually first. He has someone for you, much better than you could attempt to imagine or seek out yourself, but He has great work to do individually in both of you before you can function gloriously together. He is working on turning your frog into a prince.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. {Romans 8:18}